Boundaries in dating relationships
By setting boundaries together, you can both have a deeper understanding of the type of relationship that you and your partner want.
Boundaries are not meant to make you feel trapped or like you’re “walking on eggshells.” Creating boundaries is not a sign of secrecy or distrust — it’s an expression of what makes you feel comfortable and what you would like or not like to happen within the relationship.
You’re then empowered to set external emotional boundaries if you choose.
Similarly, since you’re accountable for your feelings and actions, you don’t blame others.
If that doesn’t work, you may need to communicate consequences to encourage compliance.
It’s essential, however, that you never threaten a consequence you’re not fully prepared to carry out.
Remember, healthy boundaries shouldn’t restrict your ability to: Even healthy relationships can use a boost now and then.
You may need a boost if you feel disconnected from your partner or like the relationship has gotten stale.
Internal boundaries regulate your relationship with yourself.But it usually takes encouragement to make yourself a priority and to persist, especially when you receive pushback.Read more on setting boundaries in Codependency for Dummies and my ebook, How to Speak Your Mind and Set Limits.Learning to manage negative thoughts and feelings empowers you, as does the ability to follow through on goals and commitments to yourself.
Healthy emotional and mental internal boundaries help you not assume responsibility for, or obsess about, other people’s feelings and problems – something codependents commonly do, followed by violating others’ emotional boundaries with unwanted advice. You think about yourself, rather than automatically agreeing with others’ criticism or advice.
If your boundary-setting isn’t helping you, read “10 Reasons Why Boundaries Don’t Work.”It takes time, support, and relearning to be able to set effective boundaries.