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I was unaccustomed to such intense attention, especially in a world that instructed partners of fat people to our bodies, as if our bodies were some external inconvenience. But M loved every part of mine, wanted to touch it all, wanted it forever.
Over time, acquaintances would cautiously ask about M.
In their eyes, I wasn’t a new land to conquer, held no promise of the thrill of the hunt presented by thinner women.
No, I would go willingly, grateful for their conquest.
But more than that, this message mirrored so many experiences I’d had before.
It echoed the hogging, the pig roasts, the fat jokes on TV.
But the times I felt furthest from this love of ours were when M complimented my body.Fat acceptance spaces frequently include heartbreaking stories of people whose relationships were kept secret by their partners.Worse still, some tell stories about working up the courage to share their experiences of sexual assault, only to be categorically disbelieved.But when fetishism is brought up with respect to fat attractions, it always seems to bring a cloud over the conversation. becomes an indictment of both the body and its beholder.